DECEMBER 2013
"We live in a world where knowledge and information have made enormous strides, yet millions of children are not in school. We spend more money on weapons than on ensuring treatment and support for the millions infected by HIV. It is a world of great promise and hope. It is also a world of despair, disease and hunger."
Nelson Mandela
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I am back in Washington, DC and clear that I will be returning to Paris sometime in March. It's the only city that calls out to me and I love being there. Now that I have made some acquaintances (future friends) it will be all the easier and more pleasant to return. Now where's that French husband of mine with that French green card! More reflections on Paris to come. The Bob-World has a new, semi-permanent Sunday-Best-Dressed look (formerly used) that exemplifies the Bob-World -- clean, fluid, cool, malleable, elusive, thirst-quenching, bitchy, life-giving, sarcastic, smooth, moody and a little bit of fun!
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Reflections on Paris
Writers, painters, thinkers and performers have always flocked to Paris because the city has always embraced such artists. One can even get a yearlong visa by proposing an artistic project. Oscar Wilde, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Alice B. Toklas, Chopin, Vincent van Gogh, Samuel Beckett, James Baldwin, Josephine Baker and a multitude of lesser-known creative people all spent time living in Paris. Paris is a stunningly beautiful city…and very romantic. It is often compared to New York City but Paris is not NYC. Paris was a major cultural magnet before New York had even a single light on Broadway. And you can see the sun in Paris!
I have wanted to live in Paris since I first visited when I was sixteen. I find Paris to be just as exciting now as I did then. I feel like I belong there. I have lived in Washington, DC, San Francisco and Los Angeles. None of those cities are calling out to me, if you will. I stayed far too long in both Los Angeles and Washington. While San Francisco is a great city and one of the very few places where I still have friends, I just didn’t get the feeling that I should move back during my last two visits there. But Paris screams my name! Could I fail miserably there? Of course, but there is only one way to find out. I wasted so much time with law school and the bar. It was exhausting to wake up every day and either have to study for the bar or look for some administrative job. I would rather rip out my fingernails one by one than spend the rest of my life in a miserable job. I’m 55 years old. If I don’t search out a satisfying life now, when do I start? 60, 65, 70? There are no golden years – that’s just a myth to keep people working as long as possible. I know very few people who are really happy in their jobs. Most cannot wait until either the weekend or retirement arrives. I don’t want the rest of my life to be like that. I don’t need a lot of money. I’ve let go of my need for fame or infamy. I just want to be in a creative vocation in a supportive environment…and I want to live in Paris. I think it’s a gamble worth risking.
While in Paris, I created this blog which gives me a body of work to show, if necessary. I wrote about a dozen poems, some in French. I performed in open mics, both in English and French and last Saturday night – my last night in Paris – I performed in a brand-new one-act play on a boat in the Seine in front of about one hundred people, standing room only. How wild is that? For me, it was incredibly wild! This clinched my decision to return. Did I make any money? No, none. Did it make me happy? Yes, incredibly! Did it make me feel as though I had some talent? Yes – I received some wonderful feedback on my performance. Am I a good actor? Yes, I am. Do I have the balls to give it a shot? Yes, I do. I am ready to fall into the arms of the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Champs-Elysees and all the magic of this city of lights. If I fall flat on my face – it won’t be the first time – then I come back to Washington or San Francisco or Boston with my tail between my legs, find that office job, and start ripping out the fingernails. But what if I succeed and find that I want to get up in the morning because something interesting or maybe even exciting might happen that day. Would that be so bad? (Rhetorical question)
N.B. I return to Paris on March 27.
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Breaking News: Rash of Babies Born Without Fathers
There has been a rash of babies born today in New York City without a father anywhere in sight. The fathers were not absent or dead or missing in action. These babies, 666 in all, were conceived without male sperm! Each of the women has declared, "Nobody fucked me! Nobody fucked me! It's a fucking miracle!" Due to the extraordinary amount of births, a makeshift delivery room was fashioned from an empty Pottery Barn, as New York hotels had no room due to all the holiday parties. These babies have been born without any trace of a Y-chromosome and yet both male and female offspring appear to have the rare G-D chromosome that only occurs every 2000 years – designated as XXG-D in girls and XG-D in boys. Doctors are baffled, puzzled and enigmatized and have convened an emergency meeting of the Ob/Gyn subsection of the American Medical Association to investigate the phenomenon referred to as Clean Conception Syndrome or CCS. To add to the confusion each baby has been visited by three drag queens from the Orient-R bar in the east village led by the east coast’s brightest star, Rufus St. Paul. They have brought gifts of gold bling, Old Spice and sage-scented potpourri to all the mothers. Even more bizarre is a gathering of farm animals in front of the Pottery Barn – sheep, goats, cows, oxen, dogs, cats, squirrels, rats and ‘possum. It is believed that they have all escaped from trucks en route to the town of Jerusalem in the western New York county of Yates. Pandemonium has broken out in the Upper East Side as up-scale women have stormed hospitals and Pottery Barns to learn the secret of male-free conception. The mayor has issued a state of emergency and has called out the National Guard, the ASPCA and Gloria Steinem. Meanwhile, in Central Park, an unprecedented concert of drummers has formed with such luminaries as Ringo Starr, Tommy Lee and Nick Jonas while recordings of Paul Anka’s “(You’re) Having my Baby” can be heard throughout the park like an angelic choir. The newborns have been swaddled through the generosity of OshKosh B’Gosh. For reasons of privacy, mothers and children will soon be moved to New Egypt, New Jersey until January 6 of next year. Stay tuned, as we will be updating this story as events unfold.
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Last night I watched a relatively new documentary entitled “Bridegroom” (Netflix and other venues) about a gay couple, Shane Crone and Tom Bridegroom (actual last name). They were a young couple that had been together six incredibly loving years and were just waiting for California to legalize same-sex marriage and then they would marry. Horrifically, Tom dies from a freak accident at the age of 29. Shane has absolutely no legal rights with respect to Tom, Tom’s health, Tom’s estate or Tom’s death; he is not allowed to participate in the funeral or burial arrangements or even allowed to attend the funeral under threat of violence by Tom’s family. Tom’s family is incredibly homophobic – particularly the father – and they would not participate in the making of the documentary. When people breed, the only responsibility they have is to love their children. These parents were too full of hate to do the right thing. Fortunately, now millions and millions of people throughout the world know how they treated their son and that they deserve to be impossibly miserable for the rest of their lives. Nobody “chooses” to be gay but doing the wrong thing is always a “choice.” This film by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason (Designing Women) came about from a video that Shane had created and posted on YouTube entitled “It Could Happen to You.” There are other YouTube videos related to the film including Bill Clinton’s introduction of the film at the Tribeca Film Festival. This is one big reason why LGBT people need basic civil rights protections. Watch it and see for yourself.
Just a few more pictures of The Bob performing in Paris. (Shameless self-promotion!)
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Pope Invalidates Eighth Commandment
Today Pope Francis in his role of infallible leader of one billion Catholics throughout the world declared that the eighth commandment, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor,” is no longer valid nor is it a sin. In a new encyclical entitled Lyaem Skruaem et Fucaem, the Pope explained that bearing false witness is a valuable characteristic of human behavior and that humanity would not have progressed to what it is today without constant lying.
Il papa explains how all of Judaism is a lie – which most of the Jews already know. There was no Abraham, Moses, David or any of the other “historical personages.” The whole one god thing was just to piss off the Romans and Greeks. The chief rabbi of Israel verified the duplicity shortly after the Pope’s announcement. The Catholics continued all the Jewish lies and added the bizarre lies of immaculate conceptions, resurrections, feeding multitudes, miracles, saints and even infallibility. Then the Muslims took all the previous lies and added Mohammed the prophet as a man of peace while their mythology specifically cites all the violent actions of the Mo’. This was verified in depth by Osama Bin Laden prior to his murder (or his alleged murder!) There has never been a rabbi, priest, minister, imam or lama who has not lied throughout his or her given vocation – usually to maintain health insurance and retirement plans.
The Pope further evidenced his sacred declaration with many examples of perpetual lying. He noted that every important political figure has lied since Julius Caesar. Every US president has lied since George Washington with Reagan, Bush 1 and 2, and Clinton in the top five. Oddly enough, Obama has told more lies than any other president while George W. retains the second slot. The Obama administration was able to top the list with the help of the NSA. Every monarch on all seven continents has lied in order to maintain his or her power. Queen Elizabeth II is the number one monarchial liar due to her regular confrontations with the republicans.
Every single corporation throughout the world lies about the safety and quality of their products as well as the integrity of their executives and employees. The worst offenders are the investment banks and stock markets, the regular banks, agribusiness, the pharmaceuticals, the high-tech industries, the automobile industry, the film and television industries, attorneys, physicians, hospitals and HMOs, nursing homes, retail and online stores, consignment and pawn shops, airlines, advertising agencies, realtors, insurance companies and supermarkets.
Finally, the pope cites statistics that every human being lies at least forty times per week and each is subjected to an average of 200 lies during that same time period. Francis, in his role of infallible pope, has determined that due to the constancy and ubiquity of human mendacity, lying is not only a necessary aspect of the human character but also part of the genetic makeup. Fortunately for the Pope, other religious leaders, and politicians the world over, 95% of the public believes that the pope is lying and they have not changed their actions or beliefs one iota. However, that same 95% were thrilled that lying is no longer a sin as it frees them from any and all guilt associated with all the false witnessing. According to the latest Vatican poll, Francis is the most popular pope of all time.
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AFRICA: the poorest continent where most countries are incapable of taking care of their citizens, where disease and government corruption are rampant, where countries only survive by virtue of international aid. BUT, they have plenty of time and energy to persecute LGBT people. Following is a condensed article from Agence France-Presse.
Laws on homosexuality in African nations
Agence France-Presse, December 20, 2013
According to a report by Amnesty International, homosexuality was illegal in 38 out of 54 countries in the region, with the death sentence applying for homosexual acts in Mauritania, Sudan and Somalia. Following are some countries which have adopted repressive laws against homosexuals:
- UGANDA: A new law adopted on Friday will see repeat offenders jailed for life, while the new bill stiffens penalties and also criminalises the public promotion of homosexuality -- including discussions by rights groups.
- NIGERIA: In May, lawmakers approved a bill to outlaw gay marriage and crack down on gay rights, including criminalising public displays of affection between gays. The bill provides for jail terms of up to 14 years for gay marriage.
- CAMEROON: Homosexual relations can be punished with up to five years in prison.
- GAMBIA: Homosexuality is punishable by up to 14 years imprisonment, for men and women.
- ZAMBIA: Same-sex relationships have been banned since British colonial rule, and a sodomy conviction carries a 14-year prison sentence.
- SENEGAL: Anyone convicted of an "improper or unnatural act with a person of the same sex" faces up to five years in jail.
- TUNISIA: Sodomy between consenting adults is punishable with up to three years in prison.
- MOROCCO: Homosexuality is punishable by six months to three years in prison, but is tolerated provided practitioners do not flaunt their different sexual orientation.
- ZIMBABWE: President Robert Mugabe is known for saying that gays and lesbians are "worse than pigs and dogs". However, the group Gays and Lesbians is authorised.
- MALAWI: In November 2012 President Joyce Banda suspended sodomy laws until they are debated by parliament. Under the country's penal code, men can be sentenced for up to 14 years and women to five years for homosexuality.
SOUTH AFRICA leads the way on gay rights. Since the end of apartheid in 1994, South Africa has had one of the world's most liberal legal frameworks for homosexuals.
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Happy Holidays
Christmas is stressful for everyone – including all the non-Christians. There’s the insane commercialism – spending money is the only real Family Value. Family get-togethers that are inherently stressful, not necessarily desired but a forced ritual. The deceptive attendance at religious services, the travel and the long-standing family roles all play a part in the Christmas distress.
The travel
The in-laws
The preparation
The appetizers
The vegetables
The tenderloin
The table
The buffet
The booze
The tree
The presents
The church
The insincerity
The desserts
The neighbors
The pretense
The games
The gossip
The pleasantries
The babies
The pets
The fiancés
The girlfriends
The boyfriends
The timing
I am usually stressed out for the Christmas holidays. It tends to be the only time I return to Boston to see family and friends. I usually suffer from some degree of panic attack prior to leaving as I wonder if anyone really wants me to come up or would it make any difference if I came up or not, etc. Then I go up and everyone is not only nice but they actually seems glad to see me! My brother, Billy, picks me up at the airport and buys coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts in the morning. My sister-in-law, Jayne, and her sisters are always welcoming (I am the only “extra brother” that attends the Christmas festivities). My niece and two nephews, Jill, Brian and Cotter, are a lot of fun. So despite the inevitable stress of the annual holiday, I’ll always have a place where I feel welcome. After I leave the family, there are visits with friends Paul and George. They treat me not only like family, but like a special guest. The trip, albeit stressful, is both a pleasant and heartwarming way to end the year.
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Another year is quickly over and so it goes. As a final thought for 2013, I found a quote on Facebook that will give a laugh to all the contrarians and those with a sense of humor.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!!!